1.) About 1/3rd of the time people in the rural areas pronounce Andrew “Angry”. “How are you Angry?”
2.) The most popular television show here is a soap opera called Generations. It’s been running for 15 years, airs 5 nights a week, and is shown during prime time.
3.) WWE wrestling is also shown during prime time.
4.) I live in a house with no indoor plumbing and no heat BUT I have dish TV. Remind you of anything?
5.) There is a dish here called walkie talkie chicken. It’s chicken feet and chicken head. Get it?
6.) Cars are not just used for driving. They can also be parked outside your house with the radio blaring to serenade the neighbourhood. Also, when it won’t drive anymore it can make a lovely lawn ornament.
7.) Nobody owns a lawnmower. They have cows and goats instead. This is something I can really get behind.
8.) If it really burns you up whenever you have to pay the $1.25 fee to use an ATM not owned by your bank, think again. South Africa banks charge fees for everything. I know someone who had to pay a fee to close out her account. When the account balance didn’t cover the fee, she had to deposit more money to pay the fee. A fee was charged on the deposit to pay the fee.
9.) When something breaks here, the common solution is to take it apart and start messing with it. One morning, the ignition in my host father’s car wouldn’t turn. When I came home, the steering column cover had been taken off and the ignition was hanging by the wires. It looked like someone had gone grand theft auto on the car. As much as I wanted to try and hotwire it, I decided against it as it’s been a while since I saw the Fast and the Furious.
My host father classifies any music type other than South African gospel music as jazz. I could be listening to Eagles and he would say “listening to the jazz?” I just agree with him because I can’t articulate the nuances of musical genres to him in Zulu or the innate musical elitism that results from growing up in the Pacific Northwest.